Wednesday, August 13, 2014

No Two Shot Glasses Are Built The Same

ABSTRACT: Shot glasses are like, totally different sizes, y'all.                              (originally published 6/16/11)
INTRODUCTION: Last night when I was at the peeler bar watching a live lesbian sex act take place on my table, with my sister and her hot date sitting next to me, the topic of strip club shot glasses came up. Strip club shot glasses are these teeny tiny plastic dealies that aren't much bigger than a thimble yet still cost five bones after the tip. One of the dancers insisted they're a regular bar shot but I just couldn't bring myself to believe it without some hardcore penetrating scientific exploration.
METHODS: Today at work I pilfered a graduated cylinder, which is essentially a measuring cup for science. I had taken a strip club shot glass home last night, and I raided my own cupboard to round up the usual suspects for comparison.

Allow me to present, clockwise from the strip club shot glass (far left): Wedding Souvenir shot glass, Standard Bar shot glass, Steve Stacey and the Stump Splitters plastic shot glass, Totally Retro shot glass, and Parisian Souvenir shot glass.
Most folks consider a shot to be 1.0 fl oz (30ml), which is pretty standard for a shooter or for the amount of booze in a "single" mix drink and this seems as good a jumping point as any. However, a quick trip to the Wikipedia entry on shot glasses tells us that there are whole bunch of different sizes out there, depending on where you live and how much your local bar wants to fuck you up. For our purposes, we want to compare the strip club shot glass with the standard bar shot, and the other ones are being measured just for fun.

DISCUSSION: Well fuck me, it turns out that not only is the strip club shot glass not smaller than a bar shot, it's fully 21% FUCKING BIGGER. I did not see that coming. Also, it turns out that my random collection of shot glasses vary quite significantly in volume. This finding has important implications in every day life, namely that the prettiest girl always gets the Steve Stacey glass.

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